Friday, September 30, 2011
i cannot stay at home more then 30minutes alone...
i prefer working non stop... i wouldn't say i love my work place... but that's the only place i can be for now... some how i'm unable to hide everything people still sees through my face...
you forgive me for neglecting you... but you will never forgive me for hurting you so much sub-consciously... i'm sorry these 2 years i thought by quiting playing games will be different but i'm totally wrong... i'm been blinded by tiredness, by friends, by family... ends up placing you at the last of the list... i'm sorry i realize it too late...
i'm so sorry... i didn't mean it...
you've said a story about the broken glass.. no girl this is the real story...
I've decided that you are my pillar of my life when the day you said the 3 words to me, i've been maintaining this pillar through out untill the day you decided to break up with me because i'm playing games and neglecting you...
i'm sorry as i entered NS i spent more time with my friend then with you... slowly each day by day your feelings for me have faded off.. i didn't realize it too..
i'm sorry, as time passes.. i ended up leaning on this pillar, it starting to have hairline cracks.. dropping flakes of cement on me, but i didn't bother about it continue leaning on to it... through this 2 years the pillar has cracked deeper and deeper.. but i'm still blinded still leaning on to it without realizing that it cracked.. the day that it breaks into dust form is the day i fall.. on 5th September 2011 2250hrs.. have been searching repairs for this pillar since then, i put blame on the pillar that made me fall... i'm wrong... i'm totally wrong... this pillar loves me so much that it stayed still till the very last breathe.. i've made a grave mistake...
i understand why you've said "even if you are richer, even if you are more romantic i will never give this chance to you".
Because i don't realize my mistake, because i don't deserve it...
i'm sorry that i blamed you for not understanding.
i'm sorry that i said i never put you in the last of my list.
i'm sorry that i said that i never take your love for granted.
the fact is that..
i'm the one not understanding.
i'm the one that have put you at the last of my list.
i'm the one that have taken you for granted.
i always thought that you would be happy being with me all this time. i'm wrong, sub-consciously i place you at the last of my list...
i'm sorry, you forgiven me for neglecting you... but you will never forgive me for hurting you so much these 2 years... i'm really sorry for everything.. i guess it's too late for me to realize all this.. you loved me so much that you gave me so much chances that i didn't see.. i'm really sorry no matter how much sorry i've said will never cover that much of pain you've suffered with me...
i'm sorry, you are my first gurl yet i've inflicted so much pain to you that i didn't realize... there's more for me to learn... i'm really sorry... i'm blinded by tiredness during NS, i'm blinded by friends i meet during NS.. i'm sorry to put you in a corner...
sorry baby... i didn't mean to hurt you so much... the pain that you are going through is more painful then what i'm going through now.. all i can hope that the pain have not change into hatred... i hope there's still a little space of me in your heart i'm sorry i've realize i've made a very grave mistake for hurting you so much silently..
In the past i've always put you at the top of my list, giving you all the love i can...
but now i'm sorry baby... i'm blinded... i hope a chance not to change, but to be a better person, to be a better boyfriend to you, in future a better husband, a better father... nothing can replace that pain in your heart i've inflicted... i'm so sorry gurl, i loved you so much that i didn't realize all the mistakes i've made...
i've learnt my lesson deep in my heart... i hope both of us can start the clock that has stopped at 4 years, 8 months, 16 days, 22 hours and 55 minutes...
fate and destiny bought us together, never tear us apart . . . but i'm the one that torn us apart.
i'm sorry baby i want to tell you all this kneeling down but i think you wouldn't want to meet me.
i'm sorry to put you through all these... i'm sorry...
the flaw that you cannot accept to live with me is, "i prioritize things that are unimportant to me then you" i'm sorry, i've realize it too late...
the lesson i've learnt to say no.. no to my friends, no to my things, no to my family... but yes to you.. i hope i didn't learnt this lesson too late.. if your decision is still firm i will face the music and give you the clap and never ever to enter in your life again... i'm truly sorry for what i've done, i will take all the blame.. i'm sorry that i'm blinded and didn't see how hard you are trying to hold us together...
i still hope for the best to be able to take care of you again, to love you again, to cherish you again, to treasure you again even if it takes time to build up the feeling that you've lost for me...
If you are willing to forgive me, i will show to you that what i've said i mean it. =)
If you really can't forgive me for what i've done i want you to say that i'm a fucked up boyfriend, leave me for good, beat me up and scold me all you want i will not resist if it makes you feel better... i'm sorry baby i've failed to be your baby boii
i'm sorry, i'm blinded by unimportant stuffs in life... that causes us to end like this...
i'm truly sorry my baby buu buu...
feeling very devastated right now... i'm sorry i try to cut myself today... i will not forgive myself... some how the blade broke.. i want to carve your name on my wrist... i'm mentality worn out, emotionally worn out, physically worn out... i can't think what i've done to myself this 3weeks... overdosing myself with sleeping pills.. i wish i can sleep and never wake up again... i can't forgive myself for hurting you so much that i didn't know... haix...
here is my story ...
6:08 PM
i believe, you will never forgive me...
here is my story ...
6:07 PM
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
i met someone today... he beat me up, gave a piece of mind to me..
i put myself onto your own shoes i cried... feeling the pain that you felt thru out, i've realize all has to do nothing with you. all of it started off on me when i've taken you for granted... i'm really really sorry.. i've realize all the mistakes i've made it's so much and you still hang on for me... baby.. i know you've been considering our relationship... i'm sorry i didn't know, you are my first love there are lots of things i need to learn from you...
i'm really sorry...
you are my pillar of life, my pillar of love i taken you for granted, i blame things that you don understand that makes things more worst.. i know why you told me this "i will give a chance but not to you"
i'm really sorry baby..
i'm naive, i've come thru my senses... the day you left me is the day i've broken this pillar... losing all the support that i've got..
i'm sorry
everything you told me is true... from the day you said i've put you at the last of my list... it's true just that i didn't realize it at all thought that you are happy thru out with me... you always wanted me to be with you alone but everytime i would say, if my friends can join, if my family can join... i always thought you would be happy just like this
i'm sorry i'm wrong
you said i never fucking bother about our relationship... baby... i agree, i realize it relationship is never about another person/friend/family going together..
i'm really really sorry...
every human makes mistakes, i thought that stop playing games would let you feel spending time close to you but i'm wrong with that move.. in fact it gotten worst.. till today i saw all my mistakes right infront of me... i'm truly sorry for everything...
i've woke up i really hope it's not too late realizing my mistake.. you are my first love.. i really hope you can give me a chance to amend my mistakes to be a better person, a better boyfriend, a better husband and even a better father for our future...
here is my story ...
9:57 AM
Monday, September 26, 2011
I decided to get you back... I believe weeping everyday, every-night, every moment will never change a thing I will show you that I never take your love for granted, I will show you that your love is worthy to me.. it takes time and I want your understanding... I believe you still don't understand what I've gone thru... I've gone thru hell.. into depths, today I have a dream... the only different dream thru out this days... I saw you running towards me crying, hugging me saying you finally understand the things I've been going thru.. I love you... you said it once more... I told you, no matter what happens you are always in my heart... we kissed like we've never kiss before... I don't know what happened it felt so real that I didn't know it's a dream... that's why I'm determined... your intuition will be wrong this time, my dream is my dejavu... as usual I'll be showering you with love and gifts again this time around will be hand made... I will not show you money as a gift... I know you didn't mind me being poor I know you didn't mind me having a lower education certification as you...
I hope you would read it... don't give up on me.. never say 'no more' i hate that word... I'm still taking sleeping pills to sleep but it seems to have little effect day after day... it's 6am now and I'm already awake...
I know you can give me a chance it just that you don't want to... I will show that your love is worthy on me
here is my story ...
6:48 AM
Saturday, September 24, 2011
got to meet you...
i understand why... i'm sorry for keeping things.. i will learn not to keep things anymore regardless happy or sad our main problem in this relationship is keeping things from each other.
i'm not sure if you understand how i feel this 2 years i didn't know you wanted company, i didn't know you wanted attention, i'm sorry, i want you to know that i really want to make up to it i don't want our relationship to just sink down like that. i realize that you are not a person that can wait, not a gurl that have patience.. i'm sorry that i didn't see..
i have free time now, i'm jogging, i'm learning how to cook, i'm learning alot of things more then you think... i will not give up, even just being friends... because i truly love you, i have never taken your love for granted as i explain to you, i can see a difference.. because your character is hard.. i know that because i'm your baby boii, i will let time show you the difference between of a person who truly loves you and a person that is just taking you for granted and advantage...
i will wait on and on and on, this is a test that fate has given to us i will fulfill it as times goes by.
no matter what you've done to me, how many droplet of tears i've shed, my amount of love will never ever change for you.
Things that i regretted is that i didn't have a chance to show you that i'm not that kelvin that neglect you when you needed me at times i really hope you listen to what i said today... i know you are demanding, i know you are pessimistic.. i will take this challenge to get you back, trust me
you gave me a chance to love you but you never gave me a chance to reprimand it doesn't matter so long time will shows that i really care..
from the bottom of my heart, i love you lek zhi hui and that will never change.Labels: fallen, life, regrets, revive, serlynn lek
here is my story ...
10:42 PM
Thursday, September 22, 2011
i really really have alot of things to say to you... i can't wait for sat to come... >.<
here is my story ...
7:47 AM
here is my story ...
1:23 AM
it has been 3 days... haix.. how are you doing? are you fine?... i'm not... this 3days passes very very long... every journey back home, listening to Jay Chou - An Jing... crying all the way back home... a very very painful journey... why when i'm trying to makes things different for her, she wants to abandon me... why can't she understands my situation? after all the things i've helped her? done for her? i just want you to understand how much i missed you thru out these 2 years.. you may not felt it, i thought going as a airforce tech would be good.. everyday book out, everyday can see you.. but no i'm wrong.. life in there is totally different we get to suffer working 10-12hours every single day... whenever i've reach home i'm really physical tired, physical worn out... emotionally thinking of you trying to get over this 2 years... i'm so happy looking forward to our Australia trip... a 5days of sweet memories although we went there on credit bills i'm happy to be there with you... after these i'm really sorry i've been trying to pay off my credit bills but i'm unable to do so... i always know a simple date with you is enough for you... but i can't even give you that... every month on the 10th $440 came in... by the next day i left with nuts... paying off stuffs, petrol to base all these... i really really want you to understand the poor times i'm having... resort to call you at night only but to find you watching movies and movies and movies... all i hear is the background sound... i'm tired always ended up falling asleep... when you are done with your movies you just hear me sleeping ends up no communication at all... i really miss those days spending with you before i got enlist..
finally we've walked thru the tunnel till this year june.. i really hope things starting to change i know you are very upset with my trip to bangkok... i'm really sorry i just want to have a breather after NS i hope you understand... if you ever try working 5-6days a week 10-12 hours each day... it's very very hard to go by everyday... while i was waiting for starhub job i ended up taking wf's brother job.. which i didn't except to be worst... things really got worst and i know i neglected you thru out... working morning till night... reaching home physically worn off even worst then the times going thru in NS... you mention to find a job for your sister.. i'm sorry i don't look down on women, why i would want your sister to suffer with me, working without getting paid... i know your good means for the groupon but i'm really really broke... i know you want to get the buffet tickets for me but you should know me... i don't want to spent your money baby... i really really hope you understand this... time's up time to change a better job when i've gotten offer from ST Aerospace... i'm really happy that month... that really marks the start of my turning point my turn to bring back the relationship... but of course i left wf's bro job as an excuse of going for courses so i agree doing some saturday for him untill i officially start working... but the day before i started working... things change.. i don't know what have snapped your mind seriously... i'm so looking forward the day that you are going to bangkok.. i want to give you a surprise on friday evening going to your place surprising you (having you confused tot i don't have time for you to sent you to airport) bring you for mcdonalds breakfast spending the whole time thru out with you till you enter the gates.... haix.. why does it have to happen like this? can you understand me? i know what i'm doing.. it's not like i know but i don't want to know.. if i'm such person, whenever you called or sms i would just ignored... but i never did that at all...
please baby... let me show you this is the turning point... i don't believe you don't have any feelings for me... take this few days to cool yourself down... we really need to talk this sat.. about what happened between 2 years and 8 months.. i don't ask for anything... just listen to what i say... thank you, my baby gurl...Labels: fallen, life, regrets, serlynn lek
here is my story ...
12:30 AM
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
have a piece of mind please.. just think about everything we've gone thru.. the happy times the sad times
here is my story ...
8:00 AM
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
please don't let me live in regrets...
here is my story ...
8:21 AM
all i hope now... is the last chance of you sympathy me to be together.. i'll treasure and cherish from that very moment...
here is my story ...
7:50 AM
Monday, September 19, 2011
no matter what I'll save this relationship, I believe those words you've said last night are just angry words i know you are upset with your family members.. I hope to see you tonight.. hopefully you will be at home.. Labels: fallen, life, serlynn lek
here is my story ...
10:44 AM
I'm so afraid to sleep everyday... afraid of losing you... afraid of the nightmare I had...
I'm so scare of making you angry.. :'(( haix baby... what happened? I'm sorry... :(( I'm very very scare the world out there is so big... I'm scare of being lost...
here is my story ...
12:07 AM
Sunday, September 18, 2011
"things are not predictable. you should be prepare for it. and should accept the fact"
yes things are not predictable, i've told you that our turning point is here i'm changing thing already can't you see? can't you just give some time to see the changes i'm showing? i'm going to spent more with with you already baby... unless you tell me that i don even bother to change things in our relationship.. but NO! i do tell you that i've not been accompanying you lately.. and i'm trying to make time for you... please see what i'm trying to show you... i don't mean any harm... baby... i won't accept the fact that you want to break up with me... why it's no point? you don't believe in me changing my attitude towards our relationship? baby please read me... please...Labels: fallen, life, serlynn lek
here is my story ...
2:36 AM
baby buu, it really really hurts alot after what you've said to me... "i don't think i need to report to you now right? And no more buu please. I'm no more."
i cried so hard after reading what you've sent to me... haix, i want my baby buuuu.... i don't want you no more... please...
she says "sometimes it's too late. you should know me. when i've made a serious decision. usually that's the final. you should know that. that's on of the reason why the decision wasn't made years ago."
gurl, it's never too late for us.. do you even remember what i sent to you our last anniversary?
"Buu Buu happy 4th year and 8 months.. when i open my wardrobe i saw your t-shirt.. i suddenly miss you badly.. :(( sometimes i feel kinda down at work but still i'll do my best for our future!!.. I'm sorry for all the shits that happened for the pass 2 yrs i have not been accompanying you at times, whenever you needed me.. have not been showering you with gifts and i still owe you birthday present and anniversary presents.. which seems to be empty promises.. i'm sorry that i'm not a good bf yet you still put it up with me and continue our journey... i love you and that will never change.. thank you for allowing me to love you! happy anniversary my baby buu..."
You replied "Happy 4 years and 8 months anniversary. Gifts nvm la. I also still owe you. :x eh? You got enough to pay? Is your work having problems? and guten morgan!"
i'm so happy to hear that.. that is the 2nd day of training... work is not having problems, i miss you i want to spend time with you.. it is just 16days ago from this conversation, and you give a harsh decision not allowing your baby boii to change his attitude on our relationship.. i can't believe it... baby.. another one goes "can i booked you on the 9th sept?" "need you to fetch us to airport" i said i will do it, i will... on 9/9 i waited for you since 10pm till 4am where you come down to wait for wanru's father... i made my promise to you even thou things happened to us...
all i really want is for us to be together again, a chance and time for me to show you the changes... haixx please listen to me... don't give me the harsh reality and don't ask me to have false hope... i'm standing at the edge of a cliff already buu buu... i really want you back... i will treasure our relationship, i will cherish you, i will let you feel what loving someone is like again... i beg of you baby... you should know me, i never beg anyone in my life before... you are the only gurl i'm willing to kneel down and beg you for this only chance... ='((
tomorrow you are going to batam already... bon voyage buu buu.. come back remember to contact me... =((
here is my story ...
2:05 AM
Saturday, September 17, 2011
wanna give my baby a surprise birthday present!! but to find that she's not at home... :(( saw her dad going out to fetch her mum he told me that you're not around :( so I passed to her sis.. :( will continue after work today..
baby, why? i felt so pain the words you gave me just now... it just pierce thru my heart... ='( i rmb at our last month anniversary i do mention about this problem that i will change... why you don't want to give me a chance? i don care if it's sympathy give me time i know i'm neglecting you it's my flaw but i can change it baby... please please please... i beg you... i hate myself so much for doing things so late... please please please baby........................
here is my story ...
7:36 AM
Friday, September 16, 2011
please don't feel guilty towards me you are my baby gurl i wouldnt want you to feel guilty about anything, please don't say there's no turning back... I tried to express myself.. by sending you songs it's not just songs it's the meaning that I'm trying to show.. whenever I sing a song with you I'm trying to show that those words are meant for you.. I'm dying inside to hold you.... please I don't want to change anything between us I just want to make you feel secure being with me, feel being treasure being with me... feel being cherish by me.. even since after NS I'm trying to spend more tine with you... finally I have the opportunity to do so to spend time with you I don't care abt money.. money can't bring happiness I just want to be by your side... can't you see the changes I'm try to progress? I wanted to stay over you place on Friday so I can send you to the airport in the morning and to bring you for breakfast to spend time with you.. I wanted to surprise you on Friday night but you take it away all on Monday...
baby please.. I still want my baby gurl... I just want this small request to save out relationship let me break that invisible wall for us... never give up on me like this.. look baby you still have feelings for me that's why all those why? what? how? qns are popping on your mind.. please don't be with your decision, there isn't a need for a good reason to change your mind.. the only thing that will have no turning back is when one cheated another.. you are not heartless, you are not like this, you are still my baby gurl no matter what you've said.. trust me... ilu
here is my story ...
12:27 PM
I really hope you will give a chance to me, tell me my flaws and not keeping everything to yourself...
here is my story ...
10:30 AM
what are my flaws? tell me... talk to me...
every human have flaws, nobody is perfect.. but human can change their flaws if they really want to..
i've learnt my lesson baby, please tell me what are my flaws... i've accept your flaws and everything i though you have also accepted mine but no please, you didn't tell me anything about it.
there is always a definite way to solve problems, don't give up on me baby... please...Labels: fallen, life, serlynn lek
here is my story ...
6:43 AM
Thursday, September 15, 2011
just this short hour i've been crying very very hard thru out even my pillow is soak with my tears it just keep flowing out... the pain is excessive the thoughts that we can never be together is extremely painful.. i believe i will end up in a state of self torture, i will start cutting myself... i will go crazy.. start using my head to bang the hard wall... driving dangerously... i hope i will admit into IMH.. where i can just hurt myself every single moment... i've lost hope in life, unable to continue anymore..
i'm sorry dad,
i'm sorry mum,
i'm sorry sis, please listen to dad's and mum's teaching... please study hard.. do not end up like your useless brother like this...
i love you all... but i love you(zhi hui) most of all... if anything happens to me i don't want you all to blame her, it's not her fault, i'm unable to continue life i'm sorry for all the things i've did to make you all upset... i'm never a good son, i'm never a good brother, i'm never a good boyfriend... never...Labels: fallen, life, revive, serlynn lek
here is my story ...
11:31 PM
i don't want to end up in your memories only... ='(
can we meet up? can we sit down and talk things out? please... i cannot live without you, i really cannot... tears are rolling down from my eyes every single night...
here is my story ...
9:57 PM
no, you fit me... all i'm asking is a chance, please don't leave me... i'm feeling very devastating.. do you even know my tears just roll down my eyes whenever you cross my mind? the journey back home flashes back the happier times we are..
i believe one will change after a painful experience i'm sorry to neglect you i never want to neglect you, you are never at the last of my list baby... why why why? why this is happening to us baby? please come out and talk to me... please reply my messages... please all i'm asking a chance for us to be together again.. my life have no purpose after you left me...
i will treasure you,
i will cherish you,
please do not leave me like this... i will not get over it, the only way for me to get over it is to end my life. i'll never continue living like this, don't say there are better gurls out there then you... they are nothing compared to you, you cared for me, you loved me.. we even do talk about our future.. i'm sorry for everything that i've neglected you i know that everytime i neglected you, your heart aches once... please.. don't forgo me... i need you now... i always looked forward meeting you. please baby please... i hate crying all night long, ever since you left me there's never a day i would pass happily except the days that i get to see you, get to hear you, get to feel you...
for some reason today at work i was driving to buy lunch with some friends, not knowingly they talk a topic about relationship, my mind was full of you, my tears drop out unknowingly.. i miss you, they were shock when they saw my expression... i'm nothing to say..
nobody knows i'm writing on this blog.. if anything would happened to me in future i would like to say afew words..
from the day i saw you, i believe that's what they call love at 1st sight. i still remember the 1st day i meet you.. to pass you your birthday present and a lunch.. but ended up only i'm the one eating... how ironic... i really miss the times we spent together taking public transport.. despite knowing that you're attached i just waited keep waiting... missed another chance that you got attached again... keep on waiting.. even till this day i'll keep on waiting... please speak to me your thoughts.. i hate this feeling baby... the feeling that i can't call you baby... the feeling that i can't see you baby... please... =((
here is my story ...
7:57 PM
i will never give up building this relationship.. not for you but for US!
give me a chance i will change everything for US!
it's never about me or you, it's US! =)
here is my story ...
8:46 AM
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
hmm been a wonderful day for me.. went to work, knock off go to one degree 15 to get cakee for buu buu.. hope she likes it! american cheese cakee! and black forest cakee! double cakeeeee!! =x
hmm in the mean while sms her before boarding the plane to call me... she did! i'm so happy that for the moment i'm dumbfound.. =)) hope things will goes different this time.. i want to send her home!!!
resting awhile before heading to changi airport to meet buu buu.. =)Labels: life, revive, serlynn lek
here is my story ...
10:55 PM
wee!!! I guess today is the only day that my Buu Buu SMS me so many times... owell not mine anymore... :(( imu so much can I hug you? :((
tired zzz gonna sleep 1st tml working morning for a plan to happen! :)) hope she will like the surprise!!!
here is my story ...
1:31 AM
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
wee! morning woke up with buu buu's message.. how happy can i be! although it's just "Am good and safe :)" the :) make my day bright thru out these days buu never send me any emotion icon before.... very very happy! today gonna be a bright day for me!
bye! going to work now!! hoping to see you tml night with cheese cakee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
here is my story ...
9:43 AM
i saw her post on facebook by mobile, what does that means? she's running away from me? hiding away from me? or am i thinking too much... haix..
hopefully she get to see those messages will do..
just heard a nice song by The Wanted "All Time Low" how do i get up from an all time low...
i can't.
geez.. having stomach ache... don't know it is gastric problems or what? have not been eating well these few days.. each day only a full meal and skipped the rest...
sayo.. going to sleep...
here is my story ...
1:49 AM
Monday, September 12, 2011
just back from work, just another amazing day with them...
sorry i can't blog about my work. =)
still no reply from her i don't know why... i just try calling her but couldn't get thru, wonder if everything is alright... saw the news paper today that bangkok has flooded praying hard that you're alright.. you are my one and only baby gurl...
please don't let anything happen to her i'm willing to take in her place if anything happens..
i've a plan on the day she's back, to work morning shift and to knock off before 7pm race down to sentosa, one degree 15's latitude to get cheese cakes for her... =)) hope she will be surprised.. =)
imu...
here is my story ...
10:28 PM
:(( still no reply from her yet... I'm sad no news from her at all.. I've got worried sick...
I miss her so much... will we ever be together again here's the turning point but will our r/s be able to turn? please come back to track...
sometimes I regretted not giving the letter to her on her bday.. perhaps things maybe different then... arg all because of the stupid printer cannot print out the photo... zzz and took me so much time to find a shop to print and frame it up.. buuuuuuu ppl says you are beautiful in the photo!!! my camera skills good ha? :x :p
>.< today took out the pendent we used to wear... I decided to wear it at all times but i need to change the chain as the rubber I think sticky sticky le...
Buu Buu what are you doing gagagaga :/
went running today cut the time off by 3-4 minutes was it good?
bored going to sleep soon goodbye my e-diaryLabels: life, photography, serlynn lek
here is my story ...
12:49 AM
Sunday, September 11, 2011
wow amazing I didn't even know that iPhone have blogger apps hahaha at least for now i can update on stuffs..
well received her SMS at abt 4am plus not really sure did she woke up that early or sleep that late.. haix.. imu until now no reply from you yet Buu Buu.. I wonder you would buy anythings for me or not? guess not ba..
mum is now seeing Chinese doctor for her leg.. swollen due to the table dropped on her leg.. so poor thing..
bored bored ltr going for a run.. ytd route was great today trying it again..Labels: life, serlynn lek
here is my story ...
5:23 PM
yaya! just came back from copen club photoshoot... it was fun! the car is best for couples hahaha..
yes! buu buu replied me... :_) i'm not irritating just that she wants to save money on the smses.. happy to hear that thou. stomach growling now.. say no to food! buu buu there having bad weather.. don't know means what, either it's raining or it's very hot! hahaha hope the hand fan i gave you have good use.. =)Labels: life, photography, serlynn lek
here is my story ...
1:36 AM
Saturday, September 10, 2011
going to photoshoot with kenny soon!.. copen club gathering..
have been smsing her since afternoon.. no replies till now, i thought she had her prepaid card already but i don't know... decided to use house phone to call her. it rang.. what does it mean?
did she left her phone at the hotel?
did she put it in silent mode?
die she don't want to reply me?
i'm totally lost.. i do still think about our future, what house are we going to buy, how many babies do we want to have, what names will our babies be.. i choose for the girl she will choose for the boy... Avril is what i'll name my baby girl.
stopping here...Labels: life, photography, revive, serlynn lek
here is my story ...
9:29 PM
i miss you, you don't reply me... what have i done to be treated like that... i hope you have a change of heart after reading what i've wrote...
here is my story ...
9:11 PM
wow... the grasses are overgrown already... revive... time to voice my thoughts.
it has been 5days... since buu buu abandon me.. very tired emotional break down, able to sleep for the past 5days i have not been sleeping more then 2hours ended up during work when resting took a nap... i don't believe buu buu doesn't have feelings for me anymore...
after work went home prepare my stuffs to pass to her as she needed and i heard it... hey i want back the communication book! please write with me please.. went to the place where we usually slack off when we are still taking public transport, now i do believe public transport will gain our bondings as when i'm driving i'm concentrating she's sleeping = no communication at all... why? why i didn't realize that... baby why don't you mention it to me... =( back to what i want to say, reach there at about 9pm. drop her a sms but she replied coldly as what i did before "No, Outside" i felt it.
so i play a bet with myself just for fun if buu buu were to walk home she will definitely pass by the place where i am, if she took a bus instead i may not have the chance to see her passing by...
abt 12pm no reply from her at all, guessed she's asleep i walked over to her hse to see if her room is still lighted on but no it's already off. i lost the bet.. i drove and park at her hse below waiting for her to come down at 4am, 4hours of waiting is nothing to me.. i've waited for you for 3years (after 2 relationship you have gone by) what is 4hours.. about 3.45am i text a wakee wakee call she replied =)) her room lights are on followed by off i don't know why my heartbeats so fast thinking what will happened if she saws me... will she get angry will she ask me to go away will she talk to me will she hear what i want to say?
the lift sounds and the sound of luggage wheels dragging along, she didn't saw me i followed her back... she didn't notice my car.. i say.. "girl" she was shock and smiling i don't know what it means why is she smiling? is she happy to see me? i don't know but she didn't scold me i passed her the "our book of communication" and a hand fan as she requested before she accept it. i smiled at the same time pulling my tears back she mention that i'm in a bad shape.. (of course i'm in a bad shape ='( why you choose to leave me... i don't know why...). she ask me to go home and sleep because i have work later on, i told her after wr dad come to pick you then i leave. she says okay... i want a hug from her but she rejected... heartaches alot...
i tail them, but some how she notice it and sms me... asking me to go home and sleep if not she will get angry (she still concern about me) okay i agreed i turn away to KPE and head for home...
immediately when i reach home i keep spamming her smses wanting her to reply.. after awhile i fall asleep waking up at 7am wishing her bon voyage. prepare for work head to work! i'm happy.. am i? i'm happy that i believe she still loves me otherwise she wouldn't even to bother me at all. =)) i will not give up this relationship.. it takes 2 hands to clap but i didn't even clap at all. i'm firm of getting this relationship back in piece trust me baby i will dedicated my time for you, i'll be come stickier and stickier then you ever wanted... =) i'm having a positive mind set now! don give up on me baby buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.Labels: life, revive, serlynn lek
here is my story ...
5:20 PM
