Thursday, September 22, 2011
it has been 3 days... haix.. how are you doing? are you fine?... i'm not... this 3days passes very very long... every journey back home, listening to Jay Chou - An Jing... crying all the way back home... a very very painful journey... why when i'm trying to makes things different for her, she wants to abandon me... why can't she understands my situation? after all the things i've helped her? done for her? i just want you to understand how much i missed you thru out these 2 years.. you may not felt it, i thought going as a airforce tech would be good.. everyday book out, everyday can see you.. but no i'm wrong.. life in there is totally different we get to suffer working 10-12hours every single day... whenever i've reach home i'm really physical tired, physical worn out... emotionally thinking of you trying to get over this 2 years... i'm so happy looking forward to our Australia trip... a 5days of sweet memories although we went there on credit bills i'm happy to be there with you... after these i'm really sorry i've been trying to pay off my credit bills but i'm unable to do so... i always know a simple date with you is enough for you... but i can't even give you that... every month on the 10th $440 came in... by the next day i left with nuts... paying off stuffs, petrol to base all these... i really really want you to understand the poor times i'm having... resort to call you at night only but to find you watching movies and movies and movies... all i hear is the background sound... i'm tired always ended up falling asleep... when you are done with your movies you just hear me sleeping ends up no communication at all... i really miss those days spending with you before i got enlist..
finally we've walked thru the tunnel till this year june.. i really hope things starting to change i know you are very upset with my trip to bangkok... i'm really sorry i just want to have a breather after NS i hope you understand... if you ever try working 5-6days a week 10-12 hours each day... it's very very hard to go by everyday... while i was waiting for starhub job i ended up taking wf's brother job.. which i didn't except to be worst... things really got worst and i know i neglected you thru out... working morning till night... reaching home physically worn off even worst then the times going thru in NS... you mention to find a job for your sister.. i'm sorry i don't look down on women, why i would want your sister to suffer with me, working without getting paid... i know your good means for the groupon but i'm really really broke... i know you want to get the buffet tickets for me but you should know me... i don't want to spent your money baby... i really really hope you understand this... time's up time to change a better job when i've gotten offer from ST Aerospace... i'm really happy that month... that really marks the start of my turning point my turn to bring back the relationship... but of course i left wf's bro job as an excuse of going for courses so i agree doing some saturday for him untill i officially start working... but the day before i started working... things change.. i don't know what have snapped your mind seriously... i'm so looking forward the day that you are going to bangkok.. i want to give you a surprise on friday evening going to your place surprising you (having you confused tot i don't have time for you to sent you to airport) bring you for mcdonalds breakfast spending the whole time thru out with you till you enter the gates.... haix.. why does it have to happen like this? can you understand me? i know what i'm doing.. it's not like i know but i don't want to know.. if i'm such person, whenever you called or sms i would just ignored... but i never did that at all...
please baby... let me show you this is the turning point... i don't believe you don't have any feelings for me... take this few days to cool yourself down... we really need to talk this sat.. about what happened between 2 years and 8 months.. i don't ask for anything... just listen to what i say... thank you, my baby gurl...Labels: fallen, life, regrets, serlynn lek
here is my story ...
12:30 AM
